I'm thinking about leaving

What this can involve

• Where you would live, and how money would work.
• Children, where they'd stay, school, and what the law says.
• Pets, belongings, documents and medication.
• Worries about how they'd react, and whether leaving could make things worse for a while.
• Mixed feelings, love, guilt, hope, fear. All of these are normal.

Safety first

• The time around leaving can be the most dangerous. This doesn't mean don't leave, it means plan with support.
• Don't announce plans, and be careful about searches, messages or paperwork they might find.
• A domestic abuse service can help you plan safely even if you never leave. Using their help is not a commitment.

Three steps you could take

In any order, over any timescale. One is enough.

1. 1

   Talk to a specialist service

   A helpline or local service can talk through your situation and help you think about timing and safety, confidentially, with no pressure.

2. 2

   Gather what you'd need, quietly

   If it's safe, note where documents, bank details and keys are. Some people prepare a bag with a trusted person. Only do what won't be noticed.

3. 3

   Learn your rights before you need them

   You may be able to stay in your home and have them leave instead. Legal aid is available to many survivors. Knowing this early gives you more choices.

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• Blank chronologyA private timeline that can help a solicitor or advocate understand quickly.

Specialist support

• Helplines and local servicesIncluding refuges and services that help with housing.
• Check for free legal helpMany survivors qualify for legal aid, even with a job or savings.

If you want to read more

• Money and your homeIf they control the money or you share a home, what to ask a solicitor.
• Court ordersOrders that can stop contact or keep them out of your home.
• Protect your childrenKeeping children safe through a separation.