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What to do if you think you're being abused

If something feels wrong, it probably is. This page is in three parts: what to do right now, what to do this week, and what to do when you're ready. You do not need to do everything. One step is enough.

Safety check

Before you read further, take a breath and ask: is it safe to be on this page right now?

If you are in immediate danger or your children are unsafe, leave this site now and call the police.

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Information only. This is not legal advice. Court procedures and the law change. Always confirm with a solicitor, Citizens Advice, or a domestic abuse advocate before acting.

Right now

Get safe, get heard

If you are not in immediate danger, the first step is to recognise what is happening and put your safety before anything else.

Is it abuse?Domestic abuse is not only hitting. Coercive control, threats, financial control, stalking, and gaslighting are all abuse.Talk to someone safeA helpline, a trusted friend, or a specialist advocate can help you think through what feels impossible alone.Start a private recordScreenshots, dates, and a simple timeline make your account much stronger if you ever need it.Know what protection you can ask forNon-molestation, occupation, and stalking orders can stop contact and give you back your home.

You don't have to have proof, a diagnosis, or a lawyer's permission to call a helpline.

This week

Make a plan

Once you know what you're dealing with, you can make calm, practical decisions. These steps build your safety without rushing you into court or confrontation.

Protect your childrenIf children are involved, learn what 'significant harm' means and how to keep them safe without being accused of alienation.Money and your childChild maintenance, child support, and the tactics abusers use through the CMS.Check legal aidDomestic abuse evidence routes mean many survivors can get legal aid even with a salary or savings.Use a letter templateReady-to-edit letters for police, solicitors, schools, and other organisations.

When you're ready

Take action

You may never need to go to court. But if you do, these are the main routes. Choose one, get advice, and move at your own pace.

Report to the policeWhat must be logged, what a Domestic Abuse Protection Notice can do, and how to escalate if your report is not taken seriously.Apply for a court orderFamily law orders to stop contact or keep an abuser out of the home.Family court processMIAM, Cafcass, hearings, and special measures — what happens, and what to prepare.Criminal court processWhat happens if the police charge your abuser, and what the Victims' Code means for you.

You are not failing for staying. You are not weak for leaving slowly.

Most survivors go back and forth many times. The most dangerous moment is often after you leave. Plans, evidence, and trusted help are what keep you safe — whichever direction you choose.

Find a helpline Back to the start