Start here
If you think you're being abused
You don't have to do all of this, and you don't have to do it in order. Pick one thing that feels possible today. That's enough.
Before you read on — a quick safety check
Is it safe to be on this page right now?
- • Could someone walk in or look over your shoulder in the next few minutes?
- • Does the person who hurts you have access to this device, your accounts or your browser history?
- • Are you using shared Wi‑Fi, a family computer, or a phone they can check?
If the answer to any of those is yes — leave now and come back safely later.
- • Tap Leave this site below, or the red Quick exit button (bottom-right) at any time. Shift + Esc also works.
- • Open this site in a private / incognito window so it doesn't appear in history.
- • Use a device they don't touch — a work computer, a trusted friend's phone, or a library computer.
- • Clear your browser history and downloads before closing — but only if doing so won't look suspicious to them.
Information only. This is not legal advice. Court procedures and the law change. Always confirm with a solicitor, Citizens Advice, or a domestic abuse advocate before acting.
Signs you may be being abused
Abuse isn't only physical. If any of these feel familiar, what you're experiencing counts.
- Physical harm or the threat of itHitting, pushing, choking/strangulation, throwing things, blocking your exit, threats to hurt you, the children, pets or themselves.
- Sexual coercionAny sexual act you didn't freely agree to — including pressure, guilt-trips, being asleep or intoxicated, or feeling unable to say no.
- Controlling or coercive behaviourMonitoring your phone or location, isolating you from family/friends, controlling what you wear/eat/spend, rules and punishments, constant criticism. This is a criminal offence under s.76 Serious Crime Act 2015.
- Economic abuseTaking your wages, running up debt in your name, sabotaging your job, refusing to pay child maintenance, controlling access to money or transport.
- Stalking and harassmentRepeated unwanted contact, showing up at your home/work, tracking devices, fake accounts, threats — including after you've left. Either-way offence; no 6-month time limit.
- Digital and online abuseAccessing your accounts, spyware, intimate-image abuse, doxxing, impersonation, using shared devices or smart-home tech to monitor or intimidate.
- Threats involving childrenUsing contact, court proceedings or social services as a weapon; turning children against you; threats to take them or report you falsely.
- How it feelsWalking on eggshells, second-guessing yourself, fear of their reaction, losing confidence, feeling trapped. Your gut is evidence — take it seriously.
Right now
Are you safe?
If you're in immediate danger, the next minute matters more than anything else on this site.
In immediate danger
- Call 999. Can't speak? Press 55 on a mobile after the call connects (Silent Solution).
- Deaf / hard of hearing: text 999 (register first by texting register to 999).
- Free, 24/7 National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247.
- Men: 0808 801 0327 (Men's Advice Line). LGBT+: 0800 999 5428 (Galop).
- • Use the Quick Exit button at any time to leave this site instantly.
- • Change passwords from a device the abuser hasn't touched. Turn off location sharing.
- • If you can, pack a small go-bag: ID, bank cards, medication, keys, kids' essentials, phone charger.
This week
Understand and protect yourself
When you have a quiet moment, these quietly build your safety and your case — without anyone else needing to know.
- Start a private, contemporaneous log. Date, time, what happened, what was said, witnesses, injuries, photos. Notes made at the time carry serious weight in both criminal and family courts.
- Preserve evidence. Screenshot messages, save voicemails, back up photos to a device or account the abuser can't access. Don't delete — even cruel messages help prove a pattern.
- Tell someone you trust. A friend, GP, midwife, health visitor, employer's HR or a specialist service. Isolation is part of how abuse works — breaking it is part of how you get out.
- Plan for safety before you leave. Leaving is the highest-risk moment. Set a code word with someone, plan transport and where you'll go.
When you're ready
Build your case
No rush. These tools are here for when (and if) you decide to act — reporting, applying for orders, or going to court.
- Report to the police if you can. Ask for the CAD reference, crime reference (CRIS), and the Officer in Charge's name, collar number and rank. Request a DASH risk assessment and a referral to your local IDVA.
- Consider a protective order. Non-molestation, occupation, restraining, stalking protection or DAPO.
- Check if you qualify for legal aid. Domestic abuse evidence routes mean many survivors qualify — check before you pay a solicitor.
- Protect your children. Domestic abuse is harm to children even if they only witness it (s.3 Domestic Abuse Act 2021).
You are not to blame. You are not exaggerating. You are not alone.
Talk to your GP about trauma support when you're ready. One step is enough for today.