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What to do if you think you're being abused

If something feels wrong, it probably is. This page is in three parts: what to do right now, what to do this week, and what to do when you're ready. You do not need to do everything. One step is enough.

Safety check

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If you are in immediate danger or your children are unsafe, leave this site now and call the police.

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Information only. This is not legal advice. Court procedures and the law change. Always confirm with a solicitor, Citizens Advice, or a domestic abuse advocate before acting.

Right now

Get safe, get heard

Put your safety first and put a name to what's happening. You don't need proof, a lawyer, or a plan to start here.

Talk to someone safeFree, confidential helplines and specialist services who believe you.Is this abuse?Abuse isn't only hitting. Control, threats, money and mind games count too.Control and stalkingWhat coercive control and stalking look like, and that both are crimes.What protection can I ask for?A few short questions that point you to the court order that fits.

You don't need proof, a diagnosis, or a lawyer's permission to call a helpline.

When you feel ready: step 2, make a plan

This week

Make a plan

When you have a quiet, safe moment. These steps build your safety quietly, without anyone else needing to know.

Start a private recordWhat to write down and keep, so your account is clear if you ever need it.Protect your childrenKeeping children safe, and what professionals mean by 'significant harm'.Check for free legal helpMany survivors can get legal aid, even with a job or savings.Money and your homeIf they control the money or you share a house: what to ask a solicitor.Child maintenanceGetting money for your child, and when maintenance is used to control you.Use a ready-made letterLetters for police, solicitors, schools and others, ready to fill in.

When you feel ready: step 3, take action

When you're ready

Take action

Only if and when you choose to. Pick one route, get advice, and go at your own pace.

Report to the policeWhat the police must do, and what to do if you're not taken seriously.Apply for a court orderOrders that stop contact or keep them out of your home.If an order is brokenWhat to write down and tell the police when they break an order.Family court, step by stepForms, hearings and the help you can ask for on the day.Criminal courtWhat happens if they're charged, and your rights as a victim.Write your statementSimple, strong wording for telling the court what happened.MARAC, social services & CafcassWhat they do, and what to do if they don't recognise the abuse.Unhappy with the court?Your options if a judge gets it wrong, and help from a McKenzie friend.

You are not failing for staying. You are not weak for leaving slowly.

Most survivors go back and forth many times. The most dangerous moment is often after you leave. Plans, evidence, and trusted help are what keep you safe — whichever direction you choose.

Find a helpline Back to the start