Where you might be
I'm worried about my children
Worrying about your children doesn't mean you're failing them. Children living with abuse are affected even when they never see it directly, and there is real, practical help for both of you.
If you're in danger right now
Call 999. Can't speak? Listen, cough or tap if you can, and on a mobile press 55 when an automated message asks. Free, 24/7 helpline: 0808 2000 247.
General information only. This does not replace advice from a solicitor or specialist domestic abuse service about your own situation. The law and court procedures differ between England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, and they change.
- Sources last checked:
- not yet re-checked against current law
- Qualified legal review:
- pending, please check details with a solicitor or advocate before relying on them
What this can involve
- Children seeing, hearing or sensing what's happening, even from another room.
- Being used in the abuse: questioned about you, or made to pass messages.
- Changes in behaviour, sleep, school, anger, anxiety, copying what they see.
- Worries about contact arrangements, or about social services getting involved.
- Feeling guilty. That guilt is common, and it isn't a verdict on you.
Safety first
- Children's safety and yours are linked, plans should cover both.
- Be careful what children carry or repeat; don't ask them to keep secrets from the other parent, as that puts pressure on them.
- If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
Three steps you could take
In any order, over any timescale. One is enough.
Let them talk, if they want to
You don't need the right words. Listening, believing them and not blaming anyone in front of them is enough for now.
Tell one professional
A teacher, GP or health visitor can note concerns and connect you to support. You can ask what they'll do with what you share.
Learn what the law offers children
Court orders can decide where children live and how contact works, and can put safety conditions in place.
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