Stalking and cyberstalking

The Suzy Lamplugh Trust uses FOUR to help recognise stalking: Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted, Repeated. It describes someone persistently focusing on you through attention or behaviour you don't want. It's a way of recognising a pattern, not a legal test you have to work through alone.

Examples include repeated messages, unwanted gifts, following you, waiting near your home or work, monitoring you online, or contacting people around you. Something that looks ordinary to someone else may feel very different because of what has happened before.

Read more: The Suzy Lamplugh Trust's guide to stalking; Understanding what's happening.

Harassment can involve repeated unwanted behaviour causing alarm or distress. Stalking overlaps with harassment, but fixation and obsessive attention towards a person help to tell the stalking pattern apart. Neither needs to involve physical violence.

You don't need to work out the correct offence yourself. If you seek help, you can describe the whole pattern and its effect on your life, rather than only the most recent incident.

Read more: CPS guidance for England and Wales; Your options with the police.

An ex-partner may present repeated contact as love, concern or a wish to put things right. You may still care about them or feel unsure about what you want. Those feelings don't mean you've agreed to being watched, followed or repeatedly contacted.

Stalking after separation can be a warning sign of increased risk, particularly alongside earlier abuse or control. That doesn't predict what will happen in your situation. A stalking specialist can help look at the pattern and plan around your circumstances, including any contact you need to have about children.

Read more: Control alongside stalking; Concerns involving children.

Online stalking can involve repeated contact through new accounts, monitoring social media, getting into your accounts or misusing location sharing. Tracking devices, stalkerware (software used to secretly monitor someone) and connected home devices can also be misused.

If you suspect monitoring or find an unfamiliar tracker, you might want specialist advice before removing it or changing accounts, as changes can sometimes alert the person. There's no single step that suits every situation. If you can, look for help on a device the person can't access, your usual device may be monitored.

Read more: Technology and digital safety.

• Messages or calls that continue after you've asked them to stop, or that you've stopped answering
• New accounts or numbers appearing after you block one
• Contact through friends, family, work or children
• Knowing where you've been, who you've seen or what you've posted
• Watching your home, following you, or "bumping into" you often

You don't have to reply. Some people choose not to block, so messages keep arriving somewhere they can be saved, a specialist can help you decide what's safest.

• Bluetooth trackers (like AirTags) can be hidden in bags, coats, car parts or children's toys.
• iPhones and many Android phones can warn you about an unknown tracker travelling with you, check your phone's settings for tracker alerts.
• A tracker may also be fitted to a car or come built into a shared car's app.

If you find one, think about safety before removing it, the person may notice. Police may want it as evidence, so photograph where it was and keep it if you can do so safely.

Possible signs, none of these prove it on their own:

• The person knows things they could only have seen on your phone
• Unfamiliar apps, or settings changed that you didn't change
• Your battery drains or data use rises unexpectedly
• Logins from devices or places you don't recognise

More often, people get in through a password they know, a shared cloud account or a device they once had access to. Checking which devices are signed in to your accounts can help. A factory reset can remove spyware but also wipes evidence, get advice first if you can.

Refuge Tech Safety has step-by-step guides.

• Find My, Google Maps sharing, Snap Map and family-safety apps
• Photo location tags, fitness apps and smart watches
• Shared family plans, cloud accounts and car apps

Turning these off can protect you, but may be noticed. If sudden changes could put you at risk, a specialist can help you plan when and how.

• Screenshots should show the date, time, sender and account name or number.
• Don't delete original messages if you can avoid it.
• Store copies somewhere the person can't reach, not a shared cloud or a device they may have accessed.
• A trusted friend or support worker could hold copies for you.

How to keep a record safely

Some people feel constantly watchful or on edge, sometimes called hypervigilance. Stalking can affect concentration, sleep, work and everyday choices. You may feel frightened one day and question yourself the next.

If someone calls the attention flattering, romantic or harmless, that doesn't make it welcome. How it feels to you matters, and you don't have to feel grateful for it.

Read more: How stress and fear can affect you; Someone to talk to.

In England and Wales, stalking is an offence under section 2A of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. Section 4A is a more serious offence: stalking that causes fear of violence on at least two occasions, or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial effect on your usual day-to-day life. These offences have further legal requirements, you don't need to assess them on your own.

In Scotland, section 39 of the Criminal Justice and Licensing (Scotland) Act 2010 makes stalking an offence. It looks at a pattern of behaviour (a "course of conduct") that causes fear or alarm.

In Northern Ireland, section 1 of the Protection from Stalking Act (Northern Ireland) 2022 makes stalking an offence, with its own legal tests.

Across the UK, getting into someone's accounts or devices without permission may also be an offence under the Computer Misuse Act 1990.

Read more: section 2A, section 4A, Scotland's section 39, Northern Ireland's Act; How the law differs across the UK.

In England and Wales, the police can apply to a magistrates' court for a Stalking Protection Order under the Stalking Protection Act 2019. You don't make that application yourself, and the person doesn't need to have been convicted. An order can ban certain behaviour and require the person to take steps, such as attending a programme.

A restraining order is different. In England and Wales, a criminal court can make one after someone is convicted or, where the legal conditions are met, found not guilty. No order can guarantee safety; a specialist can help you plan alongside it.

Protection works differently elsewhere in the UK. An advocate or legal adviser can tell you which orders are available where you live.

Read more: Court orders; What protection can I ask for?; If an order is broken.

If it's safe for you to, you could note dates, times, what happened, any witnesses and how it affected your day. Messages, call logs and screenshots may help show a pattern. A partial record is still something you can talk through with a specialist.

Think about where a record could be kept without the person finding it, devices, shared accounts and cloud storage may be open to them. You never need to contact or confront the person to make a record.

Read more: Keeping a record; Device and account safety.

The National Stalking Helpline gives practical advice to people across the UK. Paladin, the National Stalking Advocacy Service, gives specialist advocacy to people at high risk in England and Wales.

You can also ask about a local Independent Stalking Advocacy Caseworker (ISAC), a specialist who can help with risk, safety planning and the justice system. Availability varies by area. You can ask for support that fits your communication needs or circumstances, including as a disabled, Deaf, LGBT+, migrant, Black or minoritised woman.

If and when you choose to report, you can explain the whole pattern, including online behaviour and how it has changed your routines. An advocate can help you prepare. You don't need to know who is behind online stalking to ask for advice.

Read more: Reporting and your rights; Support from Paladin.