He has broken the order — what do I do now?

Things that are usually a breach

If the order says 'must not', and he did it, that is a breach.

• Any contact at all — call, text, WhatsApp, email, DM, voicemail, a card, a gift.
• Contact through someone else — his mum, a friend, a new partner, your child passing on a message.
• Turning up at your home, work, school gate, gym, church or anywhere the order names.
• Driving past repeatedly, sitting outside, or waiting nearby.
• Posting about you online, tagging you, or setting up a new account to look at yours.
• Following you, tracking your car or phone, or getting someone else to watch you.
• 'Nice' contact — an apology, a birthday message, money sent over. Kind words are still a breach.

Step by step

Do these in order. It takes about twenty minutes and it changes how seriously it is treated.

• 1. If he is there now, or you are scared right now — call 999. Say the words 'there is a non-molestation order in force and he has breached it'.
• 2. If he has gone — call 101 or report online. Still say the words 'breach of a non-molestation order' or 'breach of a restraining order'.
• 3. Screenshot everything before you delete or block. Include the date and time on the screen and the number or account it came from.
• 4. Write your own note of what happened while you remember it (see the list below).
• 5. Ask for the crime reference number and write it down with the date you reported it.
• 6. Tell your IDVA, solicitor or support worker the same day if you have one.

Exactly what to document for the police

Police need boring facts, not feelings — although feelings matter too, at the end. Give them this list and they can act on it.

• Date and the time (as close as you can get — 'about 7.15pm').
• Where you were and where he was.
• Exactly what he did or said — his words, not a summary. Use quote marks.
• How it reached you: phone number, account name, email address, third person's name.
• Screenshots or photos, unedited, showing the time stamp.
• Any witnesses — names, and whether they will speak to police.
• CCTV, doorbell camera or dashcam that may have caught it, and when it will be wiped over.
• The order itself: which court, the date it was made, the date it ends, and the exact clause that was broken.
• Previous breaches: dates and crime reference numbers, so they can see a pattern.
• The effect on you — sleep, work, moving your child's school, changing your route home. This is what shows harm.

The police route

Breach is an arrestable criminal offence. The police can arrest without going back to the family court first.

• They should log it as a crime, not as an 'incident' or 'information report'.
• They should consider arrest, and consider bail conditions to keep him away while it is investigated.
• You should be offered a victim's statement and told about special measures if it goes to court.

The family court route (contempt)

Instead of the criminal route, you can go back to the family court and ask for him to be punished for contempt. You cannot be punished twice for the same act, so you normally pick one.

• You apply to the same family court that made the order, usually on form FL407/committal application — a solicitor or duty scheme can help.
• The court can fine him or send him to prison for contempt.
• This can be faster than a police investigation, but you have to run it yourself unless you have a solicitor.

If the police do nothing

This happens. It is not the end of the road.

• Ask, politely and in writing, for the reason it was not recorded as a crime, and quote the Home Office Counting Rules.
• Ask to speak to the supervising sergeant or the force's domestic abuse unit.
• Ask your IDVA to escalate it — they can often get a decision changed in a day.
• Use the Victims' Code right to review a decision not to charge.
• Complain to the force's Professional Standards Department, then the Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC).

Clauses worth asking for

• Must not use or threaten violence against you, and must not instruct or encourage anyone else to.
• Must not intimidate, harass or pester you — including by phone, text, email, social media or any messaging app.
• Must not contact you directly or indirectly, except through a named solicitor or a named contact app.
• Must not go to, or attempt to go to, your home address, and must not come within a set distance of it (name the distance and the address, or use an exclusion zone map).
• Must not go to your workplace, the children's school or nursery, or named other places.
• Must not damage, attempt to damage or dispose of your property or the contents of the home.
• Must not post about you, or images of you, on any public platform.
• The order applies to anyone acting on his instructions.
• A power of arrest attached where violence or threats are involved.
• Length: ask for 12 months or longer, or 'until further order' — short orders leave you exposed.
• A clause that your address is not to be disclosed to him (C8 confidential address form).

What should be inside a restraining order

A restraining order comes out of the criminal court. The prosecutor can ask for it — you can tell them what you need in it. You can get one even if he is found not guilty.

• No contact directly or indirectly, including through third parties and social media.
• Not to enter a named street, estate or exclusion zone — ask for a map to be attached.
• Not to attend your workplace or the children's school.
• Not to contact named family members or your new partner.
• Duration: ask for a specific number of years, or 'until further order'.
• A clear carve-out if the family court needs him to communicate about the children, so ordinary contact does not accidentally become a criminal offence.